can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
