I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
