hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm way too hungover for life right now
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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