I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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