There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
