No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
the day after is always just damage control
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
