I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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