Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
