JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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