What a fucking waste of an outfit
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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