After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
