real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
