Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
