I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
