i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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