sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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