Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
