Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
