he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
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