I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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