Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Say something about gay babies.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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