Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
