What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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