So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
he wants to bone in the snuggie
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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