My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
