He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Randomize
