Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
