Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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