I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Randomize
