Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
