: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
