put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
My bed smells like the plague
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
