hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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