my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
So vagazzling was a success
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
