it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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