my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
