on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I love having hate sex.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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