He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
This is the high leading the old right now
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
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