So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
