im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
You smell like stripper and shame
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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