Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize