Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
