didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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