Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i dont even know how to be here
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
