the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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