He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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