It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
