she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
