Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
