Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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