Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
