i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
