id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
