he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
