Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
