Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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