I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
