it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Boobs are out for the taking
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
