I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
