I smell stomach acid.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Is this like a preordered booty call?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
