I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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