I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
