the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
