we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
