Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
