Where did you get a picture of my penis
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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