I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
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