It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I have aggressive nipples.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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