PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Randomize
